Surfing the web to cure my boredom, I came across a site that generates random sentences. I had to refresh the page about eleven times before I came across something that was somewhat amusing. And even "The Onions Are Watching the Kings on Pluto!" barely qualifies.
I then surfed on to another site where a random question was posted: “Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.” The book? The Dhammapada. The line?
We are what our deep, driving desire is.
What are the chances...? (My fight with fatalism continues).
My deep, driving desire? I achieved it simply by becoming a father. Doesn’t sound like much of an impressive goal, does it? Oh, but it was and is. What I wanted most in life was to be a dad (I can only imagine that many other guys feel the same). But when I realized long ago that I was gay (in those days when gays and lesbians were not allowed to adopt), the thought of having children of my own seemed far-fetched.
So some may laugh and say, “You can’t build a life on being a father.” Well, maybe. It’s a lot of fun to try. I know enough not to crowd my adult son. I mostly leave him be and let him initiate contact. I’ll call if I haven’t heard from him in a week or so. But the best way to get his attention? Random texts. For example:
I knew he was excited about seeing an upcoming film. I was at the gym and saw an ad for the movie on the TV. I sent him a two-word text.
He sent back:
“LOL. Ur weird, Dad.”
Yesterday, apropos of nothing, I sent:
This morning I got:
“You rock :-P”
To which I replied,
“I’m lining ‘em up like ass cracks.”
He just came back with
“Ur bizarre, LOL. Good morning, Dad.”
Surprisingly, in the midst of all this mature modeling that I provide, he’s turned into quite a responsible adult. In the future, I hope Random-Gramps doesn’t scare his children.
(but I'm not the only one who does it...)