Failure to Understand

File this under:  “One of the Laziest Posts Ever Written” or “Inciting a Family Feud.”

This past Friday morning before the decision on the New York gay marriage issue, I posted on my regular “non-queer” Facebook page:  

Listening to George Michael on way to work for all my gay/lesbian brothers & sisters working for marriage equality in NY “Gotta have faith”

To that post, I received a few supporting comments from friends, far and near.  And then I got (I won’t correct his spelling, punctuation or grammar):

This is not natural and against the one and true God that we are made in His image and one day everyone will stand in front of Him and give account to a Holy God

This from a heterosexual cousin, who is now a preacher in a very rural part of northwest Louisiana.  He and I were quite close back when we were kids.  Even though he was about four years older than I, he used to let me hang out with him and would take me with him when he “cruised the Strip.”

I have not seen him in over ten years.

This post from him provoked many of my friends, and the three comments multiplied to 12. 

I removed him from my Facebook friends.

Then I sent him a message:

You and I have not spoken in years, so I do not understand why you posted on my wall with your opinion on gay marriage. My beliefs and yours are vastly different on this matter.I left the Baptist church long ago, because I was repeatedly told that I was going to Hell. However, I was also told by my immediate family that there was no way that I was going to Hell. I am not sure either way, nor is it important to me.You and I used to be close. I miss those days. But I have removed you from my friends list on Facebook. You and I are kin, but I believe that we are no longer friends.

He replied with:

I'm sorry that you feel that way but if i didnt love you i would kept silent and you chose not to keep me as a friend thats fine but do something read Romans 1 I just give the truth of Gods Holy word what you do with it is your choice.

I returned:

I've read Romans before. But find me anywhere in the Bible where Jesus talked about homosexuality. What you are quoting is the words of Paul, not Jesus. Jesus did not speak through Paul, as much as Paul wanted that. One of my favorite songs is "Fly from Heaven" by Toad the Wet Sprocket. The song wonderfully sums up Paul. (excuse me while I insert a video for you that I did not include for his viewing pleasure).

Regardless, as I said, I have left the church. I still believe in Jesus, but not the way that conservative Christians do. Using the word of God to judge others is not in the spirit of Christ.The only reason that I did not keep you as a friend on Facebook was that I did not appreciate your writing your beliefs on my wall, when they go completely against my own beliefs. I would never do the same thing to you. 

I may have said that I believe that we are no longer friends, but I will always remember you in a good light. When we were young, you were always kind to me. I really do appreciate that, [insert name here].

He came back with:

I have my dougts if you want except Pauls word as he was chose by God then you have turn your back on all because its all Inspired word of God we cant pick and choose what we want to and ingnore the rest. you know i can not stand by and see you split hell wide open and not say anything but you choose the path that your on and all i can do is Pray for your salvation And that The True Jesus will come back into your life and When Jesus talk about Marrage it was between a man and a woman because thats His standards not mine or even yours.

I summed up with:

ok [insert name here]... I don't tell you how to live.

You are not remotely interested in my happiness. So you can say that you "love" me, but I have my doubts about that.

I think we are through on this subject. We'll never agree.

My best to you in the future. Hopefully one day we can see one another and laugh about this whole exchange. Probably not, according to you I'm Hell-bound. I'll not see you at all.

Amazingly it ended there.  To be honest, it hurt.  I thought that I could make him understand.  Maybe were we face-to-face, I could have.  But to not fool myself, it would have been a lost cause.  (Besides, the Toad the Wet Sprocket was completely lost on him).  So he didn't understand me; I don't think that I did a good job of understanding him either.

After my final transmission, I expected him to get the last word.  I’ll keep you posted.

Avoiding Reality

I never was interested. Even to this day, I’m blissfully unaware. CNN? No thanks. CNBC? Blah. Fox News? You must be joking.

As a child, I spent summer days at my grandparents. One of my duties was to retrieve the paper from the drive on Thursdays. The paper only came on Thursdays and Saturdays. Hey, it was a small town – not much to report. At lunch-time, my grandfather would get the paper first. My grandmother would read it next, and then my sister who is only a couple of years older than me would read it cover to cover. Me? I might read Peanuts (the only cartoon in the Thursday edition) or check what was playing at the local movie-house (Yes, movie. This was the days before mass-cinemas). I might quickly check out the black-and-white photos to see if any of my friends were lucky enough to capture the town spotlight. Most Thursdays, I did not bother at all. Building forts with hay bales in the barn loft was much more fun.

As an adult, I moved to Orlando for a year or so. My sister would write me (this was the days before e-mails or texts). In her letters, she would send clippings from the hometown newspaper. I would laugh a bit. She was trying to keep me abreast on happenings back home. I just wanted the news she sent of family and friends, not the current events.

I once shared an apartment with a man who was fascinated with news stories. CNN played constantly in the living room. I kept my headphones on most of the time, read in my bedroom, or took the dog for extended walks. I discovered lots of cool music, caught up on some classic lit, and lost quite a bit of weight. Turned out that the news really was good for me.

A few years ago, a friend shared with me a story that certified what I had known since my childhood. People who do not keep up with the news live longer, happier lives. Call me unaware. At least you can call me that for many years to come.

(Writer's note:  I realize that I should have referred to MSNBC instead of CNBC - that should illustrate how out of it I am.  Also, I do read the Onion, but I think that hardly qualifies as "news.")

LOST...That About Sums It Up

I opened my browser to write my post this evening. Yahoo is my homepage. And on the right-hand side of the page, I see:


TRENDING NOW

1) Dunkin’ Donuts

2) Hole in Space

3) Evangeline Lilly

4) Kristin Chenoweth

5) Cynthia Nixon

6) David Cameron

7) Erica Blasberg

8) Tiger Woods

9) Rhinoceros Escape

10) Lost

Well, OK … hmm. Let me take a stab at this with no research. As I’ve said before, I’m not much for following the news. This could be interesting … or completely idiotic. I guess we’ll find out at the end.

• I’m not sure why Dunkin’ Donuts is trending at #1. Good Coffee, but #1? Dang, there must be some big donut news.
• Hole in Space? I actually wrote a blog on this.  Plus, The Man and I were watching the Discovery Channel last night. There were fascinating programs on Black Holes, The Universe, and Massive Stars. But were that many people watching Discovery Channel last night?
• Evangeline Lilly. Who is that? Never heard of her.
• Kristin Chenoweth. Who is that? I have heard of her. I don’t know why.
• Cynthia Nixon. C’mon…I’m gay. Of course I’ve heard of her. Sex and the City. Did she finally come out? Or did she already do that? (I’m such a current events numbskull ... or just old and forgetful)
• David Cameron. Who is that? (I really need to check these people out after I finish writing this … but I more than likely will not).
• Erica Blasberg. Holy crap! I have no idea who these people are. I must be living in a cave.
• Tiger Woods. WHY?! Is this story still interesting to people?!
• Rhinoceros Escape. Now. Finally. A story I will investigate. (This could be tomorrow's post)
• Lost. I haven’t seen even one episode. I watch American Idol (I’m a nerd). I watch the Simpsons (I’m an adolescent). I watch the Soup (I just have a huge crush on Mankini). 

So …how quickly we’ve established that I may be more than a little out of step with Pop Culture. And somehow my world will keep turning. American Idol comes on in 8 minutes.

See ya…

Wisteria and Poo

Friends. I have my share of great ones. But sometimes, I wish they would be a little more genteel and withholding. Oftentimes the truth comes flowing out of their mouths regardless of whether it smells like flowers or sewage.

I mentioned to one of my friends that I started writing a blog. He seemed pleasantly surprised and genuinely interested.
“Send me the address.”
So I did.
The next time I saw him, I asked him what he thought about the site.
He just raised his eyebrows. “It’s long.”
Really? That’s the best feedback that I can expect …?
Instead I just laughed.
What I wanted to say was “It’s not a homework assignment, buddy. You don’t have to read it. But you could have at least come up with something positive to say.”
I guess I should simply be glad that he feels comfortable enough with me to share so freely.

Unsolicited, I sent the page link to my two best friends.
I received a reply, but only from one.
Here is the answer that came back:
“I hardly have time to check Facebook, much less read a blog … but you have fun, Dude.”
Honestly…that is all you have to say?
What I wanted to say was “At least you could take a cursory look and at least comment that you like the colors that I chose for the layout.”
What I did say was:
“whatever…”
She just laughed it off … she wasn’t taking any of my sewage.

I told one of my ex’s about the blog. He asked me for the address of the site. He’s a writer himself and a rather good one to boot. He’s been published a few times. When we dated, he and I would exchange short stories and critique one others work. After I sent the link, I received a quick e-mail stating that he enjoyed reading the posts, but he thought my prose was better. This was about three weeks ago.
Out of the blue, last night I received another e-mail from him. This one stating that he was still following my blog, but he was certain the writing would get tedious after a while (wait …for me or the reader, or both?). Then he stated that he was glad that everything was working out so well for me and “The Man.” After that, completely apropos of nothing, he said something I don’t even care to repeat here.
He added that male/male friendships are fallow (yes...he used the word “fallow”).

So today, I am

• Trying to keep it brief (I don't believe that I succeeded...sorry)
• Not really caring whether or not this is read by anyone (except “The Man"...he is contractually obligated).
• And giving a high five to all my buds out there who know that male/male bonds are amazingly rich (it isn't all about punching and grunting).

And the next time a friend asks for an opinion or some feedback, maybe I’ll just pony up the wisteria and keep the crap to myself.